I am in an airport with my whole family except for lorelei, Felicity, and dad. Annelise and I sit next to each other and are talking about how sad it is that dad is sitting so far away from us so that we can't see lorelei or Felicity. We are seemingly in an airport, but mom is sitting on the right hand side and is steering something and looking back at us through rear view mirrors?? Somehow I end up back at one of our old houses, I think it's supposed to be one from Wisconsin, but it isn't actually a house we lived in. I park outside and it is a very snowy with snowbanks everywhere so I go in the backyard trying to find dad. The backyard isn't snowy at all, it's summer but the ground is really gross. I was looking at this disgusting water with worms and snakes in view, reflecting on how living here made me less scared of spiders and I should be thankful. I still found myself trying to jump and avoid certain places that looked like it might have spiders though. I think I meant that I was still scared of them, I just wouldn't kill them, I remember thinking that in my dream. I kept looking out in the yard where I was, and going inside to look through the windows to see if I could find dad. It took a really long time, but eventually I saw the lights of his truck and saw him moving something from the back into a smaller building. Once I saw him, I realized I didn't want to see him and was terrified. I tried to speedwalk to my car but he came up behind me and gave me a hug. I didn't want him to be mad at me, so I hugged him back, even though I was rigid with fear and annoyance that he thought he could just touch me like that, and that I still let him. All of a sudden, Mom was there and we all three got into a fight about everything. Dad was saying he didn't understand why I left, and I told him because they told me to leave, and he said no he didn't, I said yes he did, mom said no he didn't, it went like that for a while, I brought up some good points, better than I usually do in person in real life, and I drove away. Between the airport and me being at the house, there was a part where I found Wesley, remington, Felicity, and lorelei sledding. I joined them and gave Felicity the biggest hug and told her I loved her. We sled around in this really small place that all ice and snow and I we couldn't really sled, we were just going up and down on ice and snowbanks. The kids were talking about how much fun it would be if some other family was there that I didn't know about. I found myself jealous of these people that they got to be in my siblings life and I didn't.
This dream is rich with symbolism and layered emotions, reflecting complex family dynamics, personal fears, and a search for connection and identity. Let's break it down.
Airports often signify transitions and the pause between journeys. Being there with your family, yet feeling the absence of certain members, speaks to feelings of disconnection and longing. Airports represent not just a physical location, but also a metaphorical space between where you are and where you want to be. The feeling of sadness regarding your dad’s physical distance suggests an emotional distance, hinting at unresolved feelings in your relationship with him.
The presence of your family members, especially Annelise, indicates that you are seeking support and understanding from those closest to you. The juxtaposition of your dad sitting far away may symbolize how you view him as emotionally distant in your life. His absence also intensifies your feelings of missing out on connections (with Lorelei and Felicity).
Your mother driving and using rear-view mirrors conveys the idea of looking back at the past while navigating present realities. She’s at the helm, but you still feel a disconnect, as you are not entirely present in the same way she is. This could represent how you perceive her coping mechanism—steering your family through life's paths while you struggle with your own feelings.
Transitioning to one of your old houses in Wisconsin symbolizes a longing for familiarity, but the fact that it’s not a house you lived in indicates confusion or nostalgia for a past that may not fully represent your experiences. The snowy exterior contrasting with the summer backyard hints at conflicting feelings—perhaps you’re wrestling with emotions from past seasons of your life that are still affecting you today.
The backyard, filled with disgusting water and worms, reflects feelings of discomfort and the muck of unresolved issues. Your mention of overcoming a fear of spiders, yet avoiding them, speaks to personal growth. You recognize that your past experiences have made you resilient, but old fears still linger.
The act of searching for your father emphasizes a quest for validation or a need for closure with him. The fact that you initially want to avoid him reveals your ambivalence—wanting connection while feeling apprehensive about it. His hug represents an emotional entanglement that brings discomfort; this symbolizes both an innate desire for paternal love and the fear of vulnerability.
The argument with your parents showcases unresolved issues and miscommunications. Your perceived rational and articulate retorts may indicate a deep desire to be heard and understood. This struggle reflects the difficulty in family dynamics where emotional truths clash with perceived realities. Your decision to drive away at the end can symbolize a break or an assertion of independence.
The scene where you join your siblings sledding provides a stark contrast to the heavy themes throughout your dream. This moment represents joy, connection, and the longing to participate fully in your siblings’ lives. Hugging Felicity represents an affectionate bond and a reminder of love that feels uncomplicated and genuine. However, the jealousy of other families signifies fear of being left out or disconnected from the unity you desire.
Overall, this dream captures a tapestry of familial relationships, unresolved emotions, and your quest for belonging. It beautifully illustrates your internal struggles between wanting connection and fearing it, navigating past influences, and grappling with familial roles. Moving forward, it may be beneficial to acknowledge these feelings and address them outside of dreams—perhaps through conversations with family members or personal reflection. This dream is calling you to explore and articulate your needs, while also recognizing the love that still exists within your family unit, even amid complexities.